Dragons of Paparazzi Delight

by Guest Mon Oct 27, 2008 11:56 pm

:::: Scenes of UFW programming, mere clips actually, of matches and moves and out of the ring appearances of the mysterious Richard Johnson of UFW fame are displayed across the screen. A visual buffet of the Dragon’s greatest hits, fashion, and female conquests cascades over view. Meanwhile, someone begins to voiceover the film. ::::

Narrator: “Richard ‘The Dragon’ Johnson, an enigma of professional sports. Rumored to be a master in multiple disciplines of fighting arts, and from multiple nations, this virtual unknown from UFW’s Riot faction is more at home intimidating opponents to win. Told to have had many bare-knuckle underground championships from around the globe, the secretive ‘Dragon’ cannot get enough of the camera on UFW’s Tuesday and Saturday nights. The wrestling superstar is more willing to talk more about his conquests in the bedroom than in the ring. So, with this walking contradiction of terms fresh out of his biggest match ever at the Battleground pay per view, this reporter begs to ask, who is the real Richard ‘The Dragon’ Johnson? A TMZ.com exclusive.”

:::: The scene changes to a bunch of paparottzi reporters gathered around a table listening to a report of what one has been doing over the course of the day. ::::

Reporter: “We followed that pro wrestler, Richard ‘The Dragon’ Johnson across town yesterday.”

Woman Reporter: “The Dragon?”

Reporter: “Yeah, the Dragon :::: laughs:::: . Seems really sure of himself. He’s been on TV for a couple months now. Deems himself a real ladies man, or something. Wears navigator sunglasses almost all the time."

Woman Reporter: “Oh, you mean that Richard ‘The Dragon’ Johnson. ::::Slides the autographed picture with the Dragon’s phone number and the mockier ‘Loved making you scream. – Dick’ underneath her briefcase. ::::

Reporter: “We followed him around in town when he was shopping with a lady friend of his.”

Editor: “Can we get someone on who this lady friend of his was?”

Reporter: “Doesn’t seem like the real story there, chief, since I haven’t seen him with the same girl twice. Really weird, he frequents Big and Tall stores, but although very athletically built, for a wrestler he isn’t unusually tall or fat. Seems he has trouble finding pants in his size. Anyway, just like most celebrity athletes, Johnson was in Philadelphia for the World Series and Eagles game, this past Sunday. We had a camera crew trail him the other day….”

Dragon’s Log
October, 26th 2008
Philadelphia, PA
Chestnut St shopping district

“God, my shoulder hurts. I’m still recovering from that damn cage match. But, Chase told me he just couldn’t perform without me being in the Mayor’s private box for the game. Who’s going to turn down Utley and miss the second biggest sporting event in the next few weeks? I figured, I had some time between that and the biggest event, my appearance at UFW’s season premiere. Plus, with what I went through this past season, I could use some more manly entertainment. So, once I’m there I call up my chica from South Philly and promise to show her some real brotherly love. We go out shopping and guess who we run into? No, not Donovan McNabb or Ryan Howard. Seems that where the cheese goes, the rats follow. TMZ paid us a visit.”

:::: We return back to the gathered reporters at TMZ. ::::

Editor: “Ok, if you got some footage, let’s see it.”

:::: The footage captured is of a packed Philadelphia street in front of a shopping district. The photographers are in full force. Many are in town for the World Series, so they are out looking for a few extra photos to sell. With all the celebrities coming to town for the games, the photos are easy pickings, as Philly becomes Hollywood for the day. Richard ‘The Dragon’ Johnson is surrounded as he exits a store with his lady friend and the lights and flashes assault the couple along with the questions. Dragon seems more than happy to answer them. ::::

Reporter 1: “Dragon, is it true that you are the real reason for Madonna’s divorce?”

Dragon: “A rod is not as big as a dragon.”

Reporter 2: “Mr. Johnson, Mr. Johnson, Rays or Phillies?”

Dragon: “As I have stated before, that’s the wrong sport for me, but also as I’ve stated last week, Phillies in 5.”

Tall reporter: “Hey Richard, what do you think about Hulk Hogan’s son’s early release?”

Dragon: “The Prisoners of Wrestling (P.O.W.) federation shut down a long time ago. I don’t answer questions like that anymore, but without that opportunity, its best he got out sooner than later. Less tax dollars spent, we should all be happy.

Reporter 3: “Hey, Johnson. Tough luck at Battleground. How’s the body feeling? What’s the game plan now that Boy Bakla is out of action?”

Dragon: “I’m still a little sore. What you going to expect out of a cage match? Hell, in the old days that style of match used to end feuds and this one I had to play by Bakla’s rules. But, Richard ‘The Dragon’ Johnson is a member of Riot and we are in a war, a war of respect. Don’t worry about me, you’ll see my handsome face and the body of the Modern Day Adonis on TV.”

:::: This gets a laugh from the crowd of fans and paparazzi alike. ::::

Dragon: “If indeed, Boy Bakla is out of action, it’s UFW that should be worried. You heard it here first, folks. UFW is on notice; the Dragon’s attention is turned back on you.”

Reporter: “Thank you for your time, Dragon.”

Dragon: “As always, the pleasure was all yours.”

:::: The footage stops there as Johnson follows a totally not thrilled date as she ducks into another store. The feed returns to the TMZ office with the gathered reporter staff. All in attendance are happy with the work of the contributing reporter. ::::

Reporter: “What a ham! That woman was a looker too. She didn’t look happy with all the attention, but Johnson ate it all up.

Editor: “Well, he looks like a guaranteed photo op next time he’s in town. Everyone make a record of that. Apparently, Johnson is in the right occupation.”

Dragon’s Log
October, 26th 2008
Philadelphia, PA
Chestnut St shopping district
(Cont’d)

Dragon: “The paparazzi showed up, that was kinda fun but unexpected. Natasha certainly didn’t expect it and didn’t appreciate the attention. But, this is what it means to be with a major league superstar from Riot/UFW wrestling. We didn’t get to see anymore of the Philadelphia sites that day, that incident pretty much ended that idea. Anyway, I made it up to her. I didn’t get to see the Liberty Bell, but I got to see the crack of a Philadelphia Belle anyway.”